When Did You First Realize You Were Different?

I knew that my classmates looked at me differently and I knew that they sensed there was something about me that they couldn’t figure out. I had feeling that teachers knew something, but were either to afraid to ask or didn’t have the skills at the time to really handle whatever they thought was going on.

Even from a early age, I knew I was different. I always felt weird and out of place. I felt like nobody understood me. As I got older, I kept to myself and didn’t bother anyone. I was the shy and quiet one, but in the back of my mind, I knew there was something more.

There are times when I wish I knew about my aspergers earlier on. I wonder what type of support I would have gotten if teachers knew. I wonder where I would be now if I had the resources. With the knowledge of Aspergers and Autism now, kids that are on the spectrum get the extra help in school. There are programs and therapies that could help them be more prepared in a world that doesn’t understand.

I feel like I’ve adjusted to being in a world that doesn’t quite know what really goes inside an autism mind. I’ve learnt to go with it and just adapt to being around people who are not on the spectrum because I’m always going to be around people are who neurotypical. Its challenging and stressful, but the more time I spend with people, the better I’m going to get with interacting with people. I may be an introvert and not a people person, but I live in a world where people do exist and I just have to learn to adjust and put on a brave face, even when I’m screaming from the inside.