Supporting Siblings With Autism

Having a brother or sister with autism can be hard. If the siblings have a close relationship then it is beneficial since they have someone that they are comfortable with, but it can also be challenging because the sibling with autism is going to get more attention since they're going to need extra help in their daily lives. Every autism family is different, there’s no two families that are the same. 

Getting an autism diagnosis is going to be hard and there are going to be a lot of unknowns and “what ifs,” Everyone in the family should be on the same page and are willing to work together as a team to help support not only the person with autism, but each other. 

Siblings are going to need to understand that there are going to be times where their brother or sister is going to need extra support because they are going to struggle with what most people take for granted. They are going to need help with trying to understand their emotions when it comes to feeling overwhelmed, angry, sad or tired and they are going to get frustrated because they don’t understand why they are feeling the way they do. Siblings will watch their parents on how they react to their autistic sibling and they will learn what they should do. 

Being a sibling to someone with autism is something that not everyone is going to understand. They are in a unique position. They also want to feel like they are loved and respected as their siblings, but it's hard since they know they're going to need that extra time, but as they get older, they become their sibling’s biggest supporter and their number one advocate. They want to make sure that they are getting the respect and the support they need to be able to be successful in life. 

As hard as it is for parents to give all their children the same amount of time and attention, it's a learning curve for everyone. It's going to take time for everyone to get into a routine and into a rhythm of where everyone fits in each other’s daily lives and a lot of the time,  neurotypical children are going to learn to be self-reliant when it comes to taking care of themselves. They are going to grow up faster and learn to adapt knowing that their parents are going to be more focused on their siblings. There’s going to be some resistance towards parents since they feel like they didn't get enough support from them. It’s a hard thing for parents to hear since they didn’t know at that moment in time that they weren’t focusing on their other children. Siblings should be able to talk to their parents about what and how they are feeling, whether it be positive or negative, they should be comfortable about letting their parents know that something is getting a little too much and they need room to breathe. 

Siblings need resources as much as their siblings do. They need to be able to know how to look after their siblings when something comes up. They shouldn’t be caregivers or step into a parent type role, but they should be able to know what to do when they are starting to get overwhelmed or anxious, especially if they are non-verbal.  

Siblings are members of the family that need information, reassurance and coping strategies just as parents do.

Communication in the family is important. Everyone in the family needs to know what’s going on, what part of the family everyone plays and what each member of the family can do to support the sibling with autism. 

Siblings should take the time to get to know their brother or sister’s interests. It would be a way for them to spend time together even if it's just drawing or building legos, but they should be able to have their own interests as well and be able to do things on their own not only to give them space away from everyone, but it will help them socialize with other people outside of the family.  

At the end of the day, siblings are for life. They are going to be connected in some way no matter where they are, but when you have a sibling who is on the autism spectrum, that bond runs deeper more than anything.