Supporting Someone Who Is Grieving

Everyone grieves differently. Some people want to grieve in private and other people want to express their grieving by talking about the person that has passed. Sometimes grief hits people at different times. Just because someone doesn’t show the signs and symptoms of grief as soon as something happens, doesn’t mean they won’t. You can’t put a timeline on when someone should feel something. It will come eventually. It will come in waves. You could be fine one minute and then grief will show up out of nowhere.

When you know someone that is going through the grieving process, take their lead. Don’t pressure them into doing something when they are not ready. Don’t pressure them into getting rid of the person’s belongings. You have to allow the person to take the first step. They may not want to do things so soon because it’s hard for them to let go. Other people want to get rid of stuff right away because it reminds them of what they lost.

Grief should be a no judgement zone. If the person wants to talk about the person they lost, let them. If they don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine to. They know where they are in their grieving journey. All you can do is be there for them.

People tend to lose friends over grief because they can’t be around someone who “can’t move on” or they don’t know how to act around someone in that point in their lives.

You have to let them know that you’re not going anywhere. Help them by making them dinner, tidying up their house, watch their kids. Do the little things. They may need some time to themselves, but everything just seems to much. All you really could do is just be there. Be a friend, a support system, a shoulder to cry on.

Talking about someone that as passed can be healing for some people. They want to talk about the memories and tell stories. You can ask them questions like “What is your favorite memory?” or “What was one thing that drove you crazy?”

They will enjoy looking back on that person and think about the time they spend with them. Share your own stories and memories of the person. Help them in their journey. It will show them that they are not alone.

Your support in their grieving will be appreciated. They already lost someone, they don’t need to lose another.