Brandon: Reflecting On 20 Years

I can’t believe that it’s been 20 years since Brandon passed away. It doesn't seem like 20 years have gone by, but within those years, it feels like Brandon had never left. I can sense he's around. Even after all these years, looking back on that day makes it feel like it was yesterday.

I always think back to high school and remember the last time I saw him, the last time I talked to him and in that moment I wish I talked to him for a little bit longer. I wish I had pictures with him, I wish I saw him more, I wish I had more time with him.

All the feelings of what ifs and regret of not saying what you wanted to say or doing the things you wished you did. I wish I gave him a hug before we parted ways after lunch. I wish I was able to turn back time and be able to make more memories with him.

Our friendship was short, but in those few years that we had, Brandon must have done something to me that made me still remember him 20 years later. He would pop into my head. I think about his parents every once in a while. I think about the day it happened, but it’s something that I can’t think too hard about because it reminds me what I lost, what his family lost.

There’s nothing that could bring Brandon back, but as time goes on, all I could do is remember him and think about him. It’s my way to keep him with me. He’s always going to be there no matter how much time as gone by.

For a long time after Brandon's death, I was still able to hear his voice. I didn't know what he was saying or if he was trying to tell me something, but I felt like he was sending me a message and letting me know he was okay.

I've felt his presense not that long after his passing. I was at work. As I was making my way towards the front of the store. I felt what I can only describe as someone placing their hands on my lower back like they were telling me to hurry up. I felt like it was Brandon telling me to walk a little faster, no more stalling. It caught me off guard. I ended up tripping over my feet.

There have been so many times over the years where I wonder where he would be and what he would be doing. I think of Brandon all the time. I wish he was still here. I wish he was able to have success in life and be able to do whatever he wanted. There are so many things in life I wanted Brandon to experiance. I know he would have an impact on the world in whatever he chose to do in life. He would have done so much.

I've spent the last 20 years missing Brandon and that's never going to end.