How To Handle Addiction As A Family
- Jaymi Craik
- Jan 9
- 4 min read
When it comes to a family member struggling with addiction, there are things to consider when it comes to supporting them. You want them to be able to come to you, but you also don’t want to scare them off by being judgemental. They need to know that you are willing to help them, be there for them. I know it’s hard to love someone who is struggling. There are going to be times where you wonder if there are things you could have done differently or take the blame that they went down that path of addiction, but we never know why people get addicted to something. They could come from a very loving and caring family, or they have trauma that causes them to hide behind drugs and alcohol, but no matter the circumstances, they need to know that there are people in their life they can trust without feeling like they failed.
There are some things you can do to show your support.
Learn as much as possible about addiction: Understanding what your loved one is up against in their addiction and their recovery can help families better understand what they can do differently. Al-Anon groups for yourself and attending Open Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous meetings can be very helpful too. Open AA and NA meetings are available to anyone, and all are welcome. One does not need to be an alcoholic or addict to attend. Closed meetings are reserved exclusively for addicts and alcoholics. Professional interventionists do a great job of bridging the gap between family and addiction too.
Go to family therapy sessions: It is without question that a healthy family increases the chances an addict can get better. Even if they do not get better right away, the family can still change and improve their quality of life. Individual therapy, self-help groups, workshops, and Family Recovery Programs are all helpful for families to learn the benefits of detachment and the destruction of enabling.
Educate and advocate: There is an incredible amount of misinformation about addiction. To some people, addiction is a form of weakness, and they have no problem sharing their views, even in casual conversation. To others, addiction is something family members should either fix or ignore. Even when a family attempts to help their loved one, they are sometimes judged or labeled as “enabling.” Family members often feel harsh words or careless statements most acutely when they come from friends, co-workers and even distant relatives they see on a regular basis. It’s hard to stay positive in an environment like this, but families can be part of the change. Every time they hear a phrase like this, they can share the truth about addiction. They can share some of the knowledge they’ve learned from private research, support groups and therapy sessions and give their friends destigmatizing words to use instead. Advocating on behalf of people struggling with addiction is brave. It’s also a vital, empowering and health-affirming thing to do. Rather than staying silent and fuming, families that speak up are doing something to make things better. Those conversations could not only have a wonderful impact on a family’s spirits but also positively impact their communities.
Set Boundaries and Learn Effective Communication Skills: Boundaries are your way of saying I love you and I don’t love your addiction or your current behaviors. Boundaries are another way of saying that you love yourself and other family members who are affected by your enabling and unhealthy behaviors. Learning how to effectively communicate with an addict still using substances or in early recovery helps both you and them. If what you were doing wasn’t working, it is time to try something different.
You want to be able to show that that you care and that you want them to get better. There is no need to get angry at them for their actions. They are already under a lot of stress and pressure. You need to understand why they have an addiction. You need to understand that there might be something going on their life for them to turn to drugs and alcohol. They may not be comfortable telling you that reason but showing up for them is crucial. You need to build that trust. If you turn your back towards them and tell them that you are walking away, it’s going to make them want to continue to use. The farther you push them towards getting help, the farther their going to move away from you. It would be a good thing to encourage someone to get help, but you don’t want to pressure them when they aren’t ready. Let them know that when it’s the right time, you will be there for them and will help them in any way you can. Tell them you are worried because you care or love them and want the best for them. Explain why you are concerned based on the behaviours you have seen.
It’s going to be hard to bring up something like substance abuse, but its important. They need to hear that what they are doing not only affects them, but the people around them. They may not even realize that they’re doing it because they are so wrapped up in their addiction that don’t see the changes that are going on in their lives. They don’t see the pain and hurt that they are causing to the people in their lives. Addiction involves the whole family.
Family members are the first ones to notice changes in mood and behavior. They know when someone is acting differently. It could nothing, but it could something. It doesn’t hurt to ask what’s going on. If you see something that is out of character then say something. They may not even know they are not themselves. You got to be honest and let them know that there’s always someone there to help them.
Take it one step at a time and learn what you can about what your loved one is going through. Seek professional help when it comes to an intervention. Don’t do it alone. Ask questions, don’t give it. It’s not going to be easy and it’s not going to happen overnight. It’s going to take time. Be patient. Be kind. Show that you care and are willing to do what it takes to help them overcome their addiction. They are not fighting it alone.
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