I thought that I would be a successful writer. I thought I would have a few books already published. I thought I could bring my stories to life; that’s the world I thought I would be living. I’ve tried countless times to try and outline a book. I’ve tried to do chapter outlines. I really thought that if I had planned, plotted, and organize, I would be able to write a book because I knew where the story was going.
In the past, I’ve just wrote without thinking. I just wrote as I went, but I found that even if I have everything figured out and knew what I was doing, I wasn’t able to sit down and get past the first chapter. I start to doubt myself. I start to think about how well my book would do if it ever got published. I start to think about if the story has been done before and if there was something similar already published, would I be accused of copying that book. So many thoughts would go thru my mind, and I become discouraged because I feel like a fraud. I think that’s why I always go back to my blog. Its where I started. I feel like if I wanted to tell my stories and my thoughts, my blog would be the place where I would share.
I don’t feel passionate about an idea where I want to see it till the end. I lack the patience in wanting to sit at my computer for hours and write. I don’t feel the motivation. I’ll start working on an outline then I’ll get bored and move on. I have a “work in progress” folder on my external hard drive that is filled with unfinished book outlines and stories. I don’t know if I’ll ever get around to actually finishing them, but I know where they are if I get inspired or if an opportunity comes up where someone was interested in publishing something that I’ve written then I’ll take the time to finish something, but in the meantime, I’ll just write my blog and hope that one day, I can make a living off my writing. I just have to write one blog at a time.