I was 24 years old when I moved out of my parents’ house into a basement suite. My mom thought it was the right time. She wanted me to learn how to be more independent and living with my parents wasn’t going to help with that, but I knew that I wasn’t ready to move out even through when it was time I did move out, I didn’t want to be that close to my parents because I felt like the closer I was to them, the better chance that I would rely on them to help me with day to day stuff. I wanted to be far away enough that if a problem came up, I had to figure out a solution on my own first before I relied on them to always be the first person I call to fix said problem. Of course, parents are there to help you, but I felt that being independent meant figuring things out for yourself without having to rely on others to help you. I wanted the freedom to be able to do things for myself without having someone looking over my shoulder.
The day that I moved into my own space, the only things I had to my name was my bed, my dresser, my computer, pretty much everything I had in my bedroom at my parents’ house. I didn’t have a TV, a couch, kitchen stuff like pots and pans, dishes, etc.
If you’re mart, you would get as much stuff as you can before you move out. The things I did get were second hand. Things people don’t want they give it away to people who may need it. You really don’t know how much stuff you collect when you move out because you want to things to furnish your new place.
Its challenging to be on your own even when you don’t have autism. Depending on where you are on the spectrum, moving out isn’t an option. I’m high functioning. I’m able to be an adult, get a job, pay my bills, make it in the real world, but there are people out there who can’t function on their own and need to have a caretaker.
I had a support worker for a while when I first moved out, but they didn’t do what they were supposed to when it came to “teaching” me how to be on my own. I felt like I was being watched whenever I had one around. I felt like I couldn’t be an adult because I had someone telling me what things needed to be done or how to do something when I already knew how to do it.
I didn’t like having someone telling/showing me how to adult when I just wanted to figure things out on my own. How am I supposed to learn something if I don’t try and fail occasionally?
Now that I’ve been on my own for quite a while, it’s hard for me to share my space. I like to be on my own. I got used to not having anyone around. I can do things that I want to do. I can be myself and not have to worry about anyone else. I have a routine. At the end of the day, it worked out. It can be done.