Dear Matthew

Matthew, it’s been one year since you passed away and there hasn’t been a day when I haven’t thought about you.

Life wasn’t easy for you. There were things that you were struggling with that I don’t wish on my worst enemy. You dealt with not only addiction, but severe health issues that almost cost you your life. You tried for so long to conquer your demons and to be able to live a life without addiction. You fought for so many years.

Addiction is a struggle that not many of us know about, but you took your experiences to tell your story in hopes that it will help someone who is going through it and understand that they aren't alone. You wanted to make a difference and in a way you did. You inspired me to learn what I can about addiction, you encouraged me to reach out to others in hopes that they get the help they need. I hope that by writing about mental health and addiction that it will inspire and encourage.

I can’t imagine the hurt you felt, the pain you had. I wish I was able to take that away from you. I wish I was able to check in on you. I wish I was just a phone call away, where you were able to call me anytime day or night.

It's a constant reminder that life is short. You got to do what you can to make life as amazing and meaningful as possible. You were a friend and someone who wanted to do what they could to help others. The impact that you left on the world is the same one I want to leave. I want to be remembered in the same way. You are someone I inspire to be. I want to have a life that’s extraordinary. I want people to look at my life and know that I was a friend to everyone and was willing to help others when they needed it the most. I want the things people to have said about you and bring the same positive character traits into my life.

There have been countless times when I wanted to breakdown and cry because of these feelings in losing you. I didn’t know you personally, but I wish I did. I think of you daily and miss you greatly. You will always be with me, giving me that never ending love and encouragement. You will be missed for always and forever. Thank you for being who you were. You will have a lifelong impact on me. You inspire me to be a better person.

Your passing is something that has hit me really hard. It’s something that is always going to stay with me. The memory of finding out, wishing it wasn’t true and hoping that your family felt the love and support from all over the world. Your memory will forever be with me. Talking about you and telling people your story is something I will keep doing. I want to do what I can to bring awareness to mental health and addiction. I want to keep telling your story. I want to be your voice and support you in anyway I can.

I will make you proud in everything I do. Matthew, I love you.