How To Set Healthy Boundaries With Family During The Holidays

Dealing with family during the holidays is stressful. There are family members that you don’t want to deal with because of things they’ve said and done in the past so it’s understandable that you don’t want to be around them during the holidays, but how do you say no to those family members when they want to see you and want to visit on Christmas. You feel guilty for saying no, but you know that you have to protect your mental health. They will probably use “Its Christmas, it’s supposed to the time of year for family” or something similar. Don’t be afraid to speak up and tell them that this year isn’t a good time, be honest, but don’t give away to many details about your Christmas plans since they may show up unannounced.

If those family members know why you are distancing yourself from them, they may not ask about Christmas or they may ask because its Christmas, but of there is a chance they may not know that their not invited and they are pressuring you into getting together or even guilt tripping you into hosting. If that happens, you can say no. Tell them that your just having a quiet Christmas at home and you would like some space. Again, don’t give away too much information just in case they decide to stop by.

Some people don’t know that they are not welcome and as much as it hurts for someone to admit that they don’t want that person around, sometimes it’s the truth that they need to hear for them to hopefully change or think about their past actions. They may not even know they’ve done anything wrong, but by standing up and telling family members that Christmas isn’t a good time to get together

People only use birthdays and Christmas as an excuse to see you. It’s the only time of year that they contact you. They want to celebrate with you when it’s something important like a birthday or Christmas, but where have they been for the rest of the year? Christmas shouldn’t be the only time that they should reach out. There are other days of the year they can reach out.

It’s okay to say no. It’s okay to not invite that one family member that always ruins a good time. It’s okay to create a safe space for your mental health. If doing less is something you want to do then do it. If you want to see less people and focus on yourself then do that. You are allowed to say no. You are allowed to set boundaries and limits. If something is bothering you, speak up.  Don’t let the spirit of Christmas be the reason you’re not putting yourself first.