My Experience With Online Dating

I was always going back and forth on online dating. I felt like people would judge me on my picture before they got the chance to know me. I didn’t want them to go off how I looked. I was self conscious. 

I tried an online dating site back when I was in my early 20s and because I was self conscious, I didn’t post pictures because I wanted to see if a guy would message me without knowing what I looked like. A couple of them did, but it never went past the initial “Hi, how are you?” So after a couple days, I deleted my account. It took over 10 years for me to actually want to try again.

A friend of mine had met her boyfriend on a dating app and she had mentioned that if I wanted to use the same app, she would help me set it up. I was once again going back and forth on it and then one day I decided that it was worth giving it a try. We got together and she walked me through and helped me choose pictures to put on my profile. 

Within a couple days, I was discouraged because I wasn’t getting matched or any likes on my profile and pictures. I’ve heard people who are on the app for less then 24 hours and they get messages from people. I thought for sure that I would at least start talking to one or two people, but I got nothing. I gave myself a few more days and I still hadn’t gotten anything so after a week, I deleted my account and the app.

I tried again for a third time and I used a couple different apps. Again, nothing ever came from them. Guys would match with me, but would un-match right away before I even get the chance to say something. By the time I get on the app to check for new matches after getting a notification, there’s nothing there to look at because they would un-match ASAP. I deleted it again for a third time. 

I thought it would be a lot easier for me to meet people online. I’m always online talking to people so a dating app wouldn’t be any different. When it comes to actually wanting to meet someone to be a potential partner is something I’ve always struggled with. 

I learnt to accept the fact that I’m not going to meet my prince charming. I’m not going to be the soccer mom that I’ve always wanted to be. I’ve accepted my fate in not ever going to get married and having kids. I don’t want to keep getting my heartbroken. My heart can only take so much and one more heartbreak is something it can’t handle.