My Experience With Online Dating

I was always going back and forth on online dating. I felt like people would judge me on my picture before they got the chance to know me. I didn’t want them to go off how I looked. I was self conscious.

I tried an online dating site back when I was in my early 20s and because I was self conscious, I didn’t post pictures because I wanted to see if a guy would message me without knowing what I looked like. A couple of them did, but it never went past the initial “Hi, how are you?” so after a couple days, I deleted my account. It took over 10 years for me to actually want to try again.

A friend of mine had met her boyfriend on a dating app and she had mentioned that if I wanted to the same app, she would help me set it up. I was once again going back and forth on it and then one day I decided that it was worth giving it a try. We got together and she walked me through and helped me chose pictures to put on my profile.

Within a couple days, I was discouraged because I wasn’t getting matched or any likes on my profile and pictures. I’ve heard people who are on the app for less then 24 hours and they get messages from people. I thought for sure that I would at least start talking to one or two people, but I got nothing. I gave myself a few more days and I still hadn’t gotten anything so after a week, I deleted my account and the app.

I tried again for a third time and I was a couple different apps. Again, nothing ever came from them. Guys would match with me, but would un-match right away before I even get the chance to say something. By the time I get on the app to check for new matches after getting a notification, there’s nothing there to look at because they would un-match ASAP. I deleted it again for a third time.

I thought it would be a lot easier for me to meet people online. I’m always online talking to people so a dating app wouldn’t be any different. When it comes to actually wanting to meet someone to be a potential partner is something I’ve always struggled with.

I learnt to accept the fact that I’m not going to meet my prince charming. I’m not going to be a soccer mom that I’ve always wanted to be. I’ve accepted my fate in not ever going to get married and having kids. I don’t want to keep getting my heartbroken. My heart can only take so much and one more heartbreak is something it can’t handle.